Posted By: Sefik (... NOTOR jako PRASE ...) on 'CZhumor' Title: Dodal Y.U.R.A. Date: Tue Apr 21 14:46:22 1998 /* Nesnasim BBSku, takze to resim pres Sefika. Y.U.R.A. mozna nekery znate, ale ja sem tedka precetl celej CZhumor (9 hodin v kuse) a nevidel jsem je tam, takze davam par k dobru */ Za 7 dolinami, 7 kopcami, 7 riekami, 7 moriami, 7 rovinami, 7 mociarmi .. ... (Dopln si co chces...) .............................................. ......... zila jedna zena. Raz rano vysla pred dom a povedala: KURVA, preco prave ja musim byvat tak daleko!!!! Vyhodi more na breh zlatou rybku. Jde kolem dedecek a rybka na nej vola:"Kdyz me hodis zpatky, splnim ti tri prani." Ale dedecek do ni kopne se slovy:"Ja na tebe seru, zlata rybko, ja jsem kouzelny dedecek!!!" Pride novy mnich do klastora a predstaveny mu ukazuje vsetky miestnosti. Ukazuje mu spalne, jedalne, a vsetko ostatne az nakoniec pridu do takej malej miestnosti, kde je iba jeden velky sud, ktory ma na boku dieru. Novacik sa pyta: - Na co je ten sud? - Nuz, strcis ho do tej diery a urobi ti to dobre. - A to mozem hocikedy? - Samozrejme. - Kazdy den? - Kazdy den okrem stvrtku. - A preco nie vo stvrtok? - Lebo vo stvrtok mas sluzbu v sude! /* prirovnani */ * Blbej jako rusky hracky. * Zima jak v eskymacke telocvicne. /* tento me trval celkem dlouho: */ Na nejake prehrade je pujcovna lodicek, ale pujcovatel vidi, ze se zene nejaka bourka, a tak zacne ty lodicky svolavat zpatky: "Petko, vratte se!" "Dvojko, vratte se!" "Ctyrko, vratte se!" "Osmicko, vratte se!" "Devitko, vratte se!" pomocnik: "Ale sefe, my mame prece jen osum lodi." sef: "??? ... Sestkooo, mate nejaky problem?" /* neco ze signatur (a ze zivota): */ Sex is like a bridge game -- If you have a good hand no partner is needed. /* neco brutalnejsiho */ Sedi si takhle Hrabal na okne v nemocnici a krmi holuby. Prijde tam uklizet ukli zecka a povida: Koukejte vypadnout .. /* hovadiny, na to me uzije */ Jdou takhle dva klokani po mesici a ten jeden byl uplne, ale uplne ruzovej a ten druhy, ten v tom akvariu vubec nebyl. /* no a nemuzu si odpustit jeden anglickej, do cestiny neprelozitelnej */ A Little Red Ridinghood is visiting her granny. As she walks through the forest, a hare jumps out of the bush and says: -"oh, little red ridinghood, don't go to your granny's hat, there's a big wolf waiting for you and he's gonna kill you!!" -"well thanks, hare, but I'll manage it somehow" So she keeps walking and, suddenly, a fox jumps out of the bush and says: -"oh, little red ridinghood, listen to me and walk not to the hat of your grandmother, there is a big bad wolf and he will kill you!" -"well thank you, fox, for your advice, but I think I'll manage it" After some time the dialogue is repeated, this time with a bear, but the Red Ridinghood seems not to be afraid and proudly walks to her granny's hat. When she comes there, she sees a big bad wolf, grinning at her and saying: "Ha, ha, so you've come and I'm gonna kill you!" But the Red Ridinghood says: "Oh no, wolf, according to the tale you have to EAT ME!" /* zas se nekdy ozvu, teste se.. Y.U.R.A. */ Tak tydle forky jsou bombasticky....rad zase nejake diky Yurovi dodam !!!! 000 0000000000 0000000000000000 __ __ 00000000000000 ( ) ( )