Posted By: Zaba (I'd rather be skiing!) on 'CZhumor'
Title:     anglictina pre kazde telo
Date:      Sat Mar 18 14:25:22 2000

ty co neumej anglicky maji smulu, nedjriv se holt musej naucit aby se zase 
mohli odnaucit:)))

Zabudnite Anglicky o pol hodiny!
 
Odnaucitel Anglickeho jazyka pre extremne pokrocilych
(Un-Teacher of the English Tongue for Top-Ranked Learners and PROs)
 
Po Slovensky                   In English
 
Tento kurz je urceny pre       This rate is designated for
posluchacov vysokych skol a    listeners of mountainous
univerzit, prekladatelov, ale  schools, transferers and also
aj siroku verejnost, ktora     the wide public, exhausted by
pocituje unavu z prilis        too high amount of English
rozsiahlej znalosti Anglickeho tongue knowledge. After a
jazyka. Po dokladnom precitani massive for-reading of the
nasledujucich cviceni by sa    following trainings there
mala objavit ulava,            should be discovered a
zapricinena znizenim a         discount, behind-caused by
destrukciou Vasich jazykovych  enlowment and downgrade of
vedomosti.                     your knowledges.
 

Lekcia 1: Frazeologia (phrases, idioms & proverbs)
 
Aka duchaplna myslienka!       What a ghostful idea!
Rano mudrejsie vecera.         It's wiser to dine in the
                               morning.
Bozie mlyny melu pomaly, ale   God's mills are more insured
isto.                          than functional.
Na zdravie!                    On the health!
Nema to cenu.                  It doesn't have any price.
Basa tvrdi muziku.             A prison makes music stronger.
Mam sa velmi dobre.            I've got myself very good.
Pustila som ho k vode.         I have released him to the
                               water.
Isiel spity pod obraz.         He went drunk under the
                               picture.
Si z toho cela prec.           You are all away of it.
Dohodil mu nevestu.            He threw him the bride.
Beriem ta za slovo.            I am taking you by the word.
Remeslo ma zlate dno.          A craft has a golden bottom.
Daj mi pokoj!                  Give me an appartment!
Nemaluj certa na stenu!        Don't paint the devil on the
                               wall!
Pre mna - za mna ...           For me - beyond me ...
Je to ako hrach na stenu       It is like throwing peas on
hadzat.                        the wall.
Kto do teba kamenom, ty do     Who with a stone into you, you
neho chlebom.                  with bread into him.
Bola na neho prikratka.        She was too short for him.
Postavit vodu na caj.          To set a water on a tea.
Drz hubu!                      Catch the mouth!
Ako sa do hory vola, tak sa z  What scream goes to the
hory ozyva.                    mountain, the same goes back.
Mam to v malicku.              I have it in my little finger.
Mat z pekla stastie.           To have a fortune from the
                               hell.
Tam je pes zakopany!           The dog is dug over there!
Loz ma kratke nohy.            A lie has short legs.
Mat chrobaka v hlave.          To have a beetle in ones mind.
Liezt na nervy.                To climb upon the nerves.
Seklo ho v krizoch.            It has cut him into the
                               crosses.
Prehral si platnu.             He has gambled off his cook-
                               range.
Padli si do oka.               They have fallen into each
                               other's eyes.
Hrat sa na slepu babu.         To play on a blind squaw.
Hodit flintu do zita.          To throw the rifle into the
                               corn.
Je mi nevolno.                 It's not free to me.
Vysiel na psi tridsiatok.      He went on a dog's thirties.
Vrana k vrane sada - rovny     A crow is sitting by a crow -
rovneho si hlada.              equal is looking for another
                               equal.
Mam ta plne zuby.              I have my teeth full of you.
Babka k babce, budu kapce.     Granny to the granny, the
                               boots will be.
Lepsi vrabec v hrsti ako holub Better sparrow in handful than
na streche.                    a dove on the roof.
Darovanemu konovi na zuby      Don't inspect the denture of a
nehlad.                        donated horse.
Vypalit niekomu rybnik.        To burn out someone's lake.
Prisiel na psa mraz.           A frost came upon a dog.
Presla mu cez rozum.           She has passed through his
                               brain.
Vzal nohy na plecia.           He took the legs on the
                               shoulders.
Len tak na okraj.              Just on a border.
Bezal ozlomkrky.               He ran about neck-break.
Klamala ostosest.              She has lied about one hundred
                               and six.
Minul som sa povolanim.        I have passed myself with a
                               profession.
Komu sa neleni, tomu sa        He who isn't lazy has a green
zeleni.                        one.
Trafena hus zagaga.            A shot goose will make a
                               gaggle.
Vonku je pocasie pod psa.      There is weather under the dog
                               outside.
Menej je niekedy viac.         Lassie eats sometimes more.
Zlocinec zistil, ze vzduch je  The badmaker found out that
cisty.                         the air-conditioning works
                               perfectly.
 
Lekcia 2: Literatura (Literature)
 
Kralovna zije na zamku.        A kingness lives on a lock.
Cervena Ciapocka sa vydala na  The Red Cap got married on the
cestu.                         road.
Janko hrasko polahky vyhodil   Little John Pea has easily
zbojnika na strom.             dismissed the bush-ranger to
                               the tree.
Velka Noc je v plnom prude.    The Big Night is in its full
                               stream.
Macko Pu sa pozberal zo zeme a The Pu-bear has harvested
velmi tazko vstal.             himself from the Earth and
                               erected hard.
Janosik zatancoval rezky       The Chic John has performed an
odzemok a zatocil valaskou.    off-ground dance and then
                               screwed a Walachian girl.
Cesta na Mesiac.               The journey for a month.
 
Lekcia 3: Technicky jazyk (Tek-Tongue)
 
Pocitac vyhlasil chybu.        An after-reader has pronounced
                               a mistake.
Cez kovove vodice moze         An electrical stream can walk
prechadzat elektricky prud.    during metallic drivers.
Mohli by ste, prosim, zavriet  Would you mind pressing ALT+F4
okno?                          ?
Stlacte lave tlacidlo mysi a   Press the left pressling of
potom zvolte typ ovladaca na   the rat and then elect your
vasej maticnej doske.          mother board's driver.
Mojmu mobilnemu telefonu prave A battery of my moveable phone
dosla bateria.                 has just arrived.
Pocitacova tlaciaren dokaze    A counter-presser is able to
vytlacit lubovolny textovy     produce any character's
vystup.                        performance.
 
Lekcia 4: Politika (Politics)
 
Velvyslanec bol vymenovany.    A broadcaster was outnamed.
Politicka strana podviedla     A political side has
vsetkych svojich volicov.      underconducted all of its
                               voters.
Hovorca poprednej politickej   Teller of the political front
strany hral na slavnostnom     page was rolling balls with
vecierku billiard s            outcaster's mistress on the
velvyslancovou asistentkou.    jubilee little evening.
 
Lekcia 5: Slang (Slang)
 
Je mi na sablu.                It is on the sword to me.
Nehodime poker?                Why don't we throw a poker?
Je to cele na kocku!           It's all on a pussy-cat!
Je mi to platne jak hadovi     It's valid to me like legs to
nohy.                          a snake.
Neskocime na didzinu?          Wouldn't we jump on a
                               discotheque?
Vylez mi na hrb!               Climb up my back-mountain!
Mam to na haku.                I have it on the hook.
Dali sme si do nosa.           We have got into our noses.
 
Lekcia 6: Hobby (Hobby & Pastime Activities)
 
V lete, ked byva poriadna      In flight, when it's precise
horucava, vsetci chodia        warmthness, everybody is
surfovat na pobrezie.          browsing banks.
 
Lekcia 7: Nazvy piesni z originalu do Slovenciny (Song
Titles)
 
You could be mine.             Mohol si byt banikom.
The show must go on.           Ukaz mi pokracovanie.
Can't touch this.              Nemozem to otocit.
Let it be.                     Nechaj tu vcelu.
Love me do.                    Urob mi to.
Hold me tight.                 Podrz mi ponozku.
Roll over Beethoven.           Prevalcuj Beethovena.
 
Lekcia 8: Zdvorila konverzacia (Polite Conversation)
 
Prosim Vas, kolko je hodin?    Hey, ho' many watches 'ya got?
Ako sa volate?                 How do you call yourself?
Odprevadim vas k vychodu.      I will accompany you to the
                               East.
Bude mi potesenim zastupit     It will be a pleasure to tread
vas.                           on you.
Vystrihajte sa tychto          Try to cut out of these
problemov.                     problems.
Po uvazeni zaujmem stanovisko. After scaling I will capture a
                               place for a tent.
Citte sa ako doma.             Smell yourselves like at home.
Za tuto stenu sa vam mozem     I can fist you behind this
zarucit.                       wall.
 
Lekcia 9: Slovenske mena (Slovak names)
 
                Drahoslav..... Expensiver
                Bohuslava..... Godfamy
                  Severin..... Northbert
                  Radovan..... Joyster
                Dobroslav..... Goodmaker
                     Zora..... Aurora
                    Gejza..... Gaybehind
                   Gaspar..... Jester
                    Perla..... Pearl
                Pravoslav..... Rightcelebrator
                   Vlasta..... Hairy-fairy
                  Zlatica..... Goldie
                  Bohumil..... Godlover
                  Kazimir..... Spoiler
                 Svetlana..... Lantern
               Vitazoslav..... Winnerfan
                  Jarmila..... Springlover
                   Lesana..... Forestie
                    Lenka..... Only K.
                   Blanka..... Membrane
                 Ladislav..... Tuner
                 Tichomir..... Silencer / Quietpeace
                   Prokop..... Spader
                     Nora..... Lair
                  Ludomil..... Manlover
                    Edita..... Wordie
                 Levoslav..... Lioner / Lioncelebrator
                  Koloman..... Wheelman
                    Lukas..... Archer
                Svatopluk..... Holysquad / Saintregiment
                  Barbara..... Savagress
                   Zlatko..... Darling
                   Tamara..... Thatmarry
                    David..... Vomitador
                   Mojmir..... Mypeace
 
Lekcia 10: Geograficke nazvy (Geographical names)
 
    Senica.................... Hayville
     Nitra.................... Nitro City
Nove Zamky.................... New Castles / New Locks
   Liptovsky Mikulas.......... The Liptov Santa Claus
    Zvolen.................... San Selectado / Electedville
    Rim. Sobota............... Rome Saturday
   Roznava.................... Grillside
    Presov.................... Forshow
Michalovce.................... Michaelsheep
   Dubnica.................... Oakville
    Revuca.................... Screamingstone
 Nalepkovo.................... Sticker Valley
Partizanske................... Los Guerillos / Los Partisanos
   Stupava.................... Stepside
 Nove Mesto nad Vahom......... New York upon Scales
  Kremnica.................... Creamton
 Nova Bana.................... New Mine
 Dunajska Streda.............. Danubian Wednesday
     Modra.................... Blueford
 Banska Stiavnica............. Mine Juice
Zeliezovce.................... Ironsheep
   Komarno.................... Los Mosquitos
 Prievidza.................... Throughsight
  Povazska Bystrica........... Afterscales Mountainriver
 
Lekcia 11: Ustalene slovne spojenia (Collocations)
 
Naslovo vzaty odbornik         A for-a-word-taken expert
Ostrielany pravnik             An overshooted lawyer
Podnapity predavac             An underdrunken forgiver
Uzkoprsa sestricka             A narrow-breasted little
                               sister
Korunny svedok                 An one-coin witness
Svatojanska muska              A Saint John fly
Dopravna zapcha                To-the-right stopshittment
Studena fronta                 A frigid queue
Nadzvukove lietadlo            An oversounded plane
Metrovy textil                 One meter long textile
 
Lekcia 12: Naradie a pristroje (Tools and devices)
 
Vrtacka                        A wall-hole maker
Obuvak                         A shoe on-putter
Hreben                         A hair synchroniser
Zosilnovac                     An enstronger
 
Lekcia 13: Varenie a jedla (Meals)
 
Cernice                        Blackies
Brusnica                       A sharpie
Cerstve rozky                  Fresh minicorners
Bezvajecne cestoviny           Eggless roadies
Melonova stava                 An one-million-worth juice
Hranolky podavajte s tatarskou Mini-prisms interpret with
omackou.                       Tartarian o'cat.
 
Lekcia 14: Moda a oblecenie (Fashion and Dressing)
 
Ten klobuk ti pristane.        That hat will land you.
Kupil som si plazove slapky.   I have bought a pair of beach
                               whores.
 

Na zaver - nepodareny dabing:
How do you do? Ako to robis?
All right! Vsetko pravackou!

 

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