Posted By: podles (veni,vermini,vomui) on 'Humor'
Title:     Some jokes from fido
Date:      Wed Oct 20 09:48:41 1999


These actually appeared in various church bulletins.

1. Tuesday, at 4 pm, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving
milk, come early.

2. Thursday at 5 pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
All ladies wishing to be Little Mothers please meet with the pastor in his
study.

3. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward
and lay an egg at the alter.

4. On Sunday, a special offering will be taken to defray the expenses of
the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come
forward and get a piece of paper.

5. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and
they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

6. A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the church
basement. Music will follow.

7. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of
David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

8. Tonight's sermon: What Is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir
practice.

9. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.

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Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
   time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
   Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

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What is gross stupidity?
144 blondes in one room.

What are two reasons why blondes don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.

Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
Because they can understand them

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What to tell to a bodie who lost his left arm, left leg and left eye?
All right.

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                                                     Podlesh