Posted By: Zaba (I'd rather be skiing!) on 'Humor'
Title:     few short ones
Date:      Mon Nov  6 13:20:43 2000

How do crazy people go through the forest?
                    They take the psychopath.

How do you get holy water?
                     You boil the hell out of it.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
                      Dam!

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
                      Polaroids

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
                       A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
                       Nacho cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
                       Subordinate clauses.

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
                       Quattro cinco.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
                        Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
                        Frostbite.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
                     A nervous wreck.

 Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
                       Because they have big fingers.

 Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
                      Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

 What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
                       Sanka.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
                      The location of the dirt bag.

Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
                            Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

 What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
                          A bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad skydiver goes  
                          damn, whack.

How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit?
                          Unique up on it.

 How do you catch a tame rabbit?
                          Tame way, unique up on it.

What do you call skydiving lawyers?
                             Skeet.

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop, clop?
                              An Amish drive-by shooting

How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce alike?
                            Either way, somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

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