Posted By: medved (A~z na v~eky Mikov~ce.) on 'Humor'
Title:     Two cows
Date:      Sat Oct  7 14:54:11 2006



COWS around the world more of the .Cattle. jokes, which as you can see, are 
evolving. This is progress??? 

DEMOCRAT.

You have two cows. 
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN.

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE.

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. 

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE.

You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a guy 
in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your 
government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE.

You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the 
milk, and then pours the milk down the drain. 

AMERICAN CORPORATION.

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You 
force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when 
one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have 
downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION.

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION.

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and 
produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded 
trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. 

GERMAN CORPORATION.

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent 
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 
13 weeks of vacation per year. 

ITALIAN CORPORATION.

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION.

You have two cows.
You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. 

TALIBAN CORPORATION.

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the 
hospital. 

IRAQI CORPORATION.

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing. 

FLORIDA CORPORATION.

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people, who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some 
people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking 
cow. 

NEW YORK CORPORATION.

You have fifteen million cows.
You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some 
cow from Arkansas.
 

Bye

Medved

No matter where you go, everyone is connected.